I Am Not “Too Much”: Reclaiming Space as a Loud, Deep, Bold Woman

For too long, women have been told to shrink themselves, to be softer, quieter, and easier to digest. We’re taught to sit with our legs crossed, lower our voices, choose our words carefully, and make sure everyone else feels comfortable… even if it means suffocating parts of ourselves.

But here’s the truth: you are not “too much.”

Your voice, your depth, your boldness, these are not flaws to be corrected; they are gifts to be embraced.

Where “Too Much” Comes From

The label “too much” is rarely about you; it’s about the discomfort of others when they encounter someone so unapologetically themselves. 

Too loud? You disrupted the status quo

Too deep? You brought inner feelings to a space that prefers surface talk

Too bold? You dared to want more than what was offered

When society teaches women to be “less,” it’s really saying, “Don’t take up space that we didn’t give you permission to have.”

The Problem with Shrinking Yourself

Shrinking yourself might feel safe at first, but over time, it becomes a slow suffocation.

You lose your voice.

You second-guess your instincts.

You start living someone else’s version of your life.

The tragedy is, the very parts of you that you’re dimming are the ones you need to live fully and freely!

 

Reclaiming Your Space

Here’s what I’ve learned: you don’t need to apologize for the size of your personality, your dreams, or your emotions. You were meant to take up space. You were created to shine!

1. Stop apologizing for existing loudly.
Every time you say “sorry” for who you are, you reinforce the lie that you’re wrong for being you. Replace apologies with gratitude or fact checks!

2. Find spaces that celebrate you.
Not everyone will “get” you, and that’s okay. Find communities, friendships, and rooms where your energy isn’t just tolerated but valued.

3. Redefine ‘too much.’
When someone says you’re “too much,” try reframing it: “I may be too much for you, but I’m exactly enough for the right people.”

4. Practice taking up physical space.
Stand tall. Take deep breaths. Spread your shoulders. Walk into a room like you belong there… because you do!

5. Own your depth and complexity.
Your emotions, your opinions, your passion make you magnetic. Don’t water them down.

The Freedom in Being Unapologetic

When you stop trying to fit into the boxes people hand you, you give other women permission to do the same. You start living with a kind of freedom that no one can take away, because it’s rooted in authenticity, not approval.

So, the next time someone says you’re “too much,” remember:

They might be right, but it’s because you’re too much for their comfort, NOT for your calling.

Take up your space. Speak your truth. Be loud, deep, bold, and utterly unapologetically you!!