Navigating the Ups and Downs of Your 30s: What No One Talks About
Your 30s will humble you.
One minute, you're thriving, launching businesses, attending weddings, collecting degrees. The next, you're crying in your car because life didn’t turn out the way you planned, and suddenly, everyone's asking when you're getting married, having kids, or buying a house.
Your 30s are a weird, wonderful, chaotic decade, full of deep joy, silent grief, unmet expectations, glow-ups, glow-downs, therapy breakthroughs, breakups, new beginnings, and everything in between.
But what makes it hard is that no one prepares you for the emotional whiplash that comes with it.
Let’s talk about it; The things no one says out loud, the grief that hides beneath the surface, and the healing work that can help you feel whole again.
You Might Grieve the Life You Thought You’d Have
You pictured being married by now. Maybe with kids. Maybe with a dream career that fulfilled you. But instead, you’re here, healing from things you didn’t know you were carrying, trying to make sense of your journey.
Grief isn’t always about losing someone. It’s also about releasing expectations, timelines, and identities you outgrew. Give yourself permission to grieve that too.
Try This: Write a goodbye letter to the version of yourself you thought you’d be by now. Let it be raw. Then write a welcome letter to the woman you’re becoming.
Friendships Shift, and That’s Okay
Your 20s were about meeting people. Your 30s are about keeping the right ones. Some friendships fade. Others deepen. And sometimes, it’s the people you thought would always be there who disappear without a word.
It hurts. But it also teaches you discernment, how to protect your peace, honor your boundaries, and seek out sisterhood that feels right for your soul.
Try This: Don’t chase people. Instead, invest in the ones who pour back into you. Initiate conversations with women who inspire you. Healing happens in community.
Your Body Will Change. Your Confidence Can Too.
You gain weight. You lose weight. Your knees pop now when you stand up. Your hormones are louder than your alarm clock. Welcome to the wild ride that is your 30s body.
But here’s what no one told us: your confidence doesn’t have to depend on a dress size. You can reclaim beauty on your own terms.
Try This: Start your mornings with mirror talk. Not just affirmations, but real check-ins: “How do I feel in this body today?” “What do I need to honor her?”
Healing is Not Linear And It Doesn’t Have a Deadline
You’re not behind. You’re not broken. You’re rebuilding.
Healing in your 30s often looks like peeling back the layers you’ve used to protect yourself: people-pleasing, perfectionism, pretending to have it all together.
It’s messy. It's uncomfortable. But it’s also the most powerful gift you can give yourself.
Try This: Create a healing practice (journaling, prayer, art, movement) something that reconnects you to you. Healing isn’t about fixing yourself. It’s about remembering who you were before the world told you who to be.
You’re Allowed to Redefine Success
That dream job? Might not feel dreamy anymore. That 5-year plan? Out the window. Your 30s force you to ask bigger questions: What matters to me now? What am I building this life around?
Success isn’t just about income or accolades. Sometimes, it’s choosing rest. Choosing softness. Choosing not to settle.
Try This: Make a list of the values you want your life to reflect. Then check your calendar, does your time match what you say matters?
Final Thought… You’re Not Alone!
No one has it all figured out. Despite the highlight reels and curated updates, we’re all just trying to navigate this chapter with grace, grit, and a little humor. So give yourself grace. Cry if you need to. Laugh when you can. And remember:
You’re not behind.
You’re not late.
You’re becoming.
Right on time.
Call to Action:
Want to go deeper in your healing journey?
Join our next creative self-healing workshop or host a session for your community.
You don’t have to do it alone. Let’s grow together.