The Weight We Carry: Healing the Trauma Held in Our Hair
“It’s just hair.”
If only.
For women of color, our hair is never just hair. It’s culture, history, rebellion, identity, and whether we realize it or not, a place where trauma often hides.
The stares.
The "Can I touch it?"
The hiding your natural texture because “messy” was code for “unprofessional"
And one day, you realize... your hair has stories it’s been holding onto, too.
Where Trauma Lives: The Body Keeps Score
Unhealed trauma doesn’t just live in our memories—it lives in our bodies. Research shows that emotional trauma can embed itself in our nervous system, manifesting through tension, disconnection, and even how we care for (or avoid) our hair.
Some signs it’s more than just a “bad hair day”:
You avoid styling or touching your hair because it brings up discomfort
You feel shame around your natural texture or cultural hairstyles
You associate certain styles with bullying, rejection, or invisibility
You constantly change your hair to “fit in” or not draw attention
From the classrooms to the boardrooms, many of us learned early that our hair had to be managed, not celebrated.
The Crown Is Sacred: Why Hair Is Identity for Women of Color
In many cultures, hair is sacred. It’s a marker of where we come from, who raised us, and what we’ve overcome. Hair has always been our canvas of resilience.
Historically, Black and brown women used hairstyles as forms of resistance and survival. In pre-colonial Africa, braids were used to signify tribe, status, and power. During slavery, cornrows were sometimes maps to freedom.
In East and Southeast Asian cultures, hair has historically symbolized discipline, status, and spiritual energy—yet assimilation often meant cutting it off or chemically altering it to conform to Eurocentric norms.
In Latina and Indigenous communities, hair is both a cultural legacy and a site of duality: encouraged to be proud of it, but not too proud. Curly hair? “Tame it.” Straight hair? “Don’t be too basic.” Sound familiar?
So when we say your hair carries weight, we mean ancestral weight, cultural weight, societal weight.
But it’s time we choose what gets to stay—and what needs to be released.
Healing Through Hair: Turning Routine Into Worship
Here’s how to begin turning your hair care into a time of honoring your temple:
1. Cut the Weight (Literally and Figuratively)
Whether it’s a big chop or a symbolic trim, letting go of hair that carries painful memories can feel like emotional release.
New growth = new beginnings.
2. Make Wash Day a Sacred Practice
Turn hair care into soul care.
Light candles. Play your “soft girl healing” playlist. Massage your scalp with intention. Repeat affirmations like:
“My hair is holy. My heritage is beautiful. I am enough.”
3. Try Creative Crown Work
In our Set A Part workshop, women design custom headwraps or hair accessories while reflecting on the negative narratives they’ve been taught about their hair.
It’s not about looking good—it’s about feeling whole.
🖌️ Want to experience it? Join our next art therapy workshop here → Set A Part Braiding Class
The Stories Our Hair Still Holds
Real women in our community shared the moments that shaped their relationship with their hair:
“I remember being told my thick, wavy hair was ‘too wild’ for school photos. I straightened it for the next 10 years.”
“My mom used to cry when I wanted to cut my long hair. It felt like disrespect to our culture.”
“I was bullied for having ‘nappy hair’ in middle school. Now I wear my afro like a crown—but I still feel that little girl inside me flinch.”
Hair trauma doesn’t discriminate.
It affects us across cultures, textures, and languages. You’re not alone.
You’re not “too sensitive.” These moments shape our relationship with ourselves, and they’re worth healing.
Reclaiming Your Crown is Reclaiming Yourself
True self-love isn’t always pretty. It’s unlearning shame, rewriting the story, and honoring the little girl inside you who just wanted to feel beautiful.
Not “beautiful for a Black girl.”
Not “beautiful once it’s laid and slayed.”
Just beautiful. Period.
It’s about honoring the parts of ourselves we were once taught to hide.
You’re allowed to:
Wear your curls in their full glory
Chop it all off and start fresh
Rock braids, buns, blowouts, or nothing at all
Take up space and still be soft
Love your hair exactly as it is today
Because confidence isn't built in a salon—it's built in the mirror, in the quiet affirmations, and in the communities that see you..
Ready to Reclaim Your Crown?
Join our therapeutic art + beauty workshops designed for women to reclaim identity, celebrate culture, and create safe spaces for expression.
Or host a private workshop or event for your community, church group, or sister circle.
Your crown carries power.
Let’s make sure it also carries peace.