When the Spark is Gone: Reigniting Motivation After Loss

There are seasons when life knocks the wind out of you. Whether it’s a breakup, a death, a dream deferred, or a betrayal, loss has a way of silencing even the most ambitious parts of you. Suddenly, things that used to excite you don’t hit the same. You’re staring at your to-do list, your vision board, your dreams… and you feel numb.

That’s the thing about grief. It doesn’t just break your heart, it breaks your rhythm.

If you’ve ever found yourself saying, “I just don’t feel like myself anymore.” 

This one’s for you.

Here’s how to start finding your spark again, gently, intentionally, and with compassion.

Accept That You’re Not “Lazy” … You’re Healing

Grief is not procrastination. Burnout isn’t failure. You’re not unmotivated because you’re undisciplined … you’re unmotivated because you’re HURTING!

Give yourself permission to be where you are. Pushing through pain only leads to deeper exhaustion. Start by acknowledging the weight you’ve been carrying.

Ask yourself: “What do I need more of right now, rest, release, or reassurance?”

 

Romanticize the Small Wins

Brushing your teeth. Getting out of bed. Opening your laptop. 

Yes, these are victories too!

Loss can make everything feel meaningless, so it’s essential to anchor yourself to purpose, even if it starts with the tiniest habits.

Celebrate showing up, not perfectly, but present!

Create a “done” list instead of a to-do list. Let yourself see that you’re still moving, even if it’s inch by inch.

Reconnect With Joy Before You Reconnect With Hustle

You don’t have to go back to being a machine. Before you throw yourself into your goals again, ask:  “What lights me up now?”

Sometimes, loss changes us. The things you used to want may no longer fit who you are becoming. Find joy again, not in productivity, but in presence!

Take yourself on a solo date. Try something creative. Revisit something you loved as a child. Let joy guide you back home.

Rebuild in Community, Not Isolation

Loss loves to isolate us. But healing? Healing happens in connection.

Find safe spaces to process, vent, laugh, cry. Join a social group, attend workshops, call the friend who just gets it. 

Motivation often comes not from pep talks, but from having a witness to your growth.

Surround yourself with people who remind you of your strength, not by fixing you, but by seeing you.

Set Gentle Goals, Not Grand Ones.

You don’t have to leap back into hustle mode. Maybe the goal isn’t to “get back to normal”, maybe it’s to create something new that honors where you’ve been.

Start with small goals:

• Drink water today
  

• Write a post
  

• Go outside for 10 minutes
  

• Pray
  

• Journal
  

• Speak one kind thing to yourself
  

Consistency over intensity. Presence over perfection.

Final Thoughts:

Loss changes you. But it doesn’t erase you.

The version of you that’s coming next? She might be softer. Wiser. Slower. But she is still powerful.

Your fire isn’t gone. It’s just waiting for oxygen, for space, compassion, grace.

So take a deep breath. You’re not starting over. You’re starting with more, more knowledge, more truth, more heart.

And that is holy work.

 

If this resonated, don’t keep it to yourself.
Share it with a girlfriend who’s struggling to find her spark again.
Save it for the days when your light feels dim.
And if you need support, our therapeutic art workshops and affirming spaces are here for you.

You don’t have to reignite alone.